Jenni Carlson at it again

Apparently my favorite Oklahoman columnist, Jenni Carlson, is upset about the alleged lesbian softball stereotype..just read her recent column. Uh-oh...she's at it again: Writing columns about awkward subjects that have nothing to do with sports and going places where she should not even go...

I wonder what a typical morning meeting of Daily Oklahoman sports columnists is like:

Editor: Okay guys, I need your columns in by 6 today.
Berry: Alright chief, I got a doozie today for ya..on implications of Big 12 break up!
Editor: Awesome, Rohde?
Rohde: Uh... I dunno chief, let me think for a minute. Okay I got it, I'll do a column on how OU is the greatest ever and how everyone else sucks.
Editor: Perfect, after all--that's all we write about here at the Oklahoman, right? Now Jenni..Jenni, what are you going to write about?
Jenni: How about how black people seem to like chicken?
Editor: Uhh....
Jenni: Okay, okay..what about what football positions people of different races are genetically engineered for?
Editor: Huh? Are you serious?
Jenni: Okay, fine--I know I got a lot of flack about that one last time I did it! How about...how softball players are thought of as lesbians??
Editor: Whatever, just don't get featured on Jon Stewart again..

Who the hell does she think she is? And yes, it's unfair that there's a lesbian stereotype with softball--but she missed the point. The Wall Street Journal used the stereotype against Obama's recent Supreme Court nominee by putting on the front page a photo of her playing softball with her hair rolled up in a bun, and there is no way they were oblivious to the ongoing rumors that Kagan, unmarried and child-less, is a lesbian. This is why sports writers should stick to sports, politics writers should stick to politics, and arguments about genetic engineering should be left to Dr. Mengele..not the sports page of the Oklahoman...

Bricktown, banned subject?

Notice how anytime someone talks about Bricktown, whether it's a positive or negative reflection, it draws so much criticism and contention and disparaging insults. You can't win for trying. If you make suggestions for Bricktown then the people who claim to be the ones in the know will tell you that you know nothing and tell you "the reality" of Bricktown, and they're ticked off that you dared to second-guess their authority.

Bricktown is all about authority and whose turf it is, don't you forget that bubba. If you hope for more development, you hear a hopeless tale of the economy. If you talk about all of the positive changes someone else forces the subject to all of Bricktown's squandered potential. If you focus too much on it then you're also bound to hear that you're ignoring all of downtown's other districts that are doing exciting things.

So what is the official stance on Bricktown? What is the accepted "PC" way to discuss Bricktown?

Rule 1. If you're not an insider, don't dare suggest ways it can improve. Leave it to the professionals.
Rule 2. Don't step on any toes, everyone who is an insider in Bricktown is working very hard and nobody is doing anything wrong.
Rule 3. Don't make other downtown communities feel second-rate, they're also just as important.
Rule 4. Don't bother attempting to differentiate between the "Bricktown That Could Be" and "The Bricktown That Is.." to everyone in OKC, they're the same.
Rule 5. Stop complaining about Lower Bricktown, unless you're Robin Williams having visions of "Redneck Venice," it is so passe to brood over the south half.
Rule 6. The one development component that is especially out of bounds (even more so than residential) is retail. Instead why aren't YOU shopping at Bricktown's whopping 5 retail establishments?
Rule 7. Don't ever, EVER, criticize the city's dedication to Bricktown upkeep. After all, they built the Ballpark. The end.
Rule 8. Don't forget that Bricktown is so 1990. It's all about Core to Shore. That's where the future of improvement is. The chances of Bricktown losing momentum are 1 to a million, not gonna happen, ever.
Rule 9. Don't sound too positive, because then you're complacent and you're not trying hard enough.
Rule 10. No matter what you say, expect critical feedback. Everyone has their own unique and highly contentious take on Bricktown these days.

I think these are some good guidelines to bear in mind for future Bricktown discussions, to avoid stepping on any toes and to promote being sensitive towards everyone involved in the process.

Or should Bricktown just be a banned subject altogether? Whatever we do, let's avoid taking a good, hard look at all costs.

Conceptual food for thought

For those of you that actually enjoy when I start going into planning jargon, or who can at least follow it a little bit, here's some food for thought. I was thinking about what makes great city centers and how you build such a neighborhood and other typical chicken-or-egg kinds of questions. Well really, you need both the chicken or egg simultaneously, but ironically if you chose one, someone accuses you of not doing enough to be proactive, if you chose the other, you're accused of putting the cart before the horse. That's true with a lot of things, especially planning and the transit debate where streetcar came out victorious, despite detractors saying OKC isn't dense enough and blah blah (streetcar builds density).

But here's the food for thought, what I want to hear thoughts and opinions on: Do people live where they work, or do people live where they play? Think about it. Now in context, look at the people moving downtown. We've been surprised by all of the studies that have actually shown most of them to not work in downtown, despite downtown having the metro's highest concentration of workers. But then again, we expect downtown workers to live downtown. So which is it, do people tend to live where they play, or do people tend to live where they work?

First I would argue that OKC itself is a horrible example to use to figure this out because we don't have a healthy, full-blown alternative to suburban markets of all price points. But imagine we did, unless you spend a lot of time in a different city that does have viable alternatives at each price point. If the downtown residential market was viable, would people live there because they play in downtown or because they work in downtown... of course you could say both, but that's a cop-out!

Off my game a little..

I just want to apologize to all of those who read my blog regularly and have been disappointed with how infrequent my posting has been. I also want to apologize to anyone who was put off by one of my recent posts which was basically a long gripe about the lack of progress on downtown retail, which I readily admit the economy is mainly culprit for. Hopefully I can stoke my guilt for bitchin about it with the message that sometimes you do need a rather critical perspective to come along and pick at things. You just don't want it to be the same person all of the time and I promise that won't be me, I'll go back to happy posts for now.

Also wanted to apologize to people who came to expect posts from me every other day or so. I used to think, "You know blogging is great, how about if I let this become my life? That would be cool." Now life has kind of taken over for a while and blogging isn't so cool, but that just means I'll come back refreshed and with more ideas eventually. Of course there's always news happening, even no news is still news..and I'll still cover what I do.

Downtown Houston "monument"

Anyone that's familiar with Houston knows that it sure feels like it at times..

Downtown ontheRange's Best of OKC

Now that I'm done writing letters to everyone under the sun, and almost finished being mad at art haters, and with the Gazette and the Oklahoman having a frenzy over their "Best of OKC" rankings right now, I thought it would be fun for me to do one of my own just to throw out the word for a few great local businesses that I've enjoyed going to this summer. Also, I have to say that thinking about the topic tonight got me hungry..so my rankings are somewhat biased as I was sitting in Cattlemen's Steakhouse not very long ago, as my send-off dinner before I go back to Calgary this weekend. I'm just going to name a best for each category, and a runner-up. So without much further ado, here goes (and if this doesn't get you hungry, I don't know what will).

Best Upscale Restaurant
1. Mickey Mantle's Steakhouse in Bricktown. (Get the pepper corn steak.)
2. Red Prime Steak in Automobile Alley.

Best "Casual Dining"
1. Red Rock Canyon Grill at Lake Hefner's East Wharf
2. Deep Deuce Grill in Deep Deuce

Best Steakhouse (the toughest category IMO)
1. Cattlemen's Steakhouse in Stockyards City
2. Mickey Mantle's Steakhouse in Bricktown

Best Cafe'
1. Two Olives Cafe in Downtown Moore
2. The Saturn Grill at Nichols Hills Plaza

Best Italian Restaurant
1. Trattoria il Centro in the Arts District
2. Flip's Wine Bar on N. Western

Best Japanese Restaurant
1. Shogun Steakhouse at NorthPark
2. Musashi's on N. Western

Best Coffeehouse
1. The Red Cup on N. Classen
2. Coffee Slingers in Automobile Alley

Best Pizza Place
1. The Hideaway, 5 metro locations
2. The Wedge Pizzeria in Deep Deuce and N. Western

Best Restaurant for a Date
1. McNellie's Public House in MidTown
2. The Mont on Boyd Ave., Norman

Best BBQ Joint
1. Iron Starr Urban BBQ in Crown Heights
2. Bad Brad's in Downtown Yukon

Best Burger Joint
1. Irma's Burger Shack in MidTown and in Nichols Hills
2. Bricktown Burgers in Bricktown

Best Time-Tested Establishment
1. Cattlemen's Steakhouse in Stockyards City
2. Anne's Chicken Fry on Historic Rt. 66, Warr Acres

Hottest New Restaurant
1. McNellie's Public House in MidTown
2. POPS on Historic Rt. 66, Arcadia

Best Lunch Haunt
1. The Prohibition Room in Historic Gold Dome
2. Irma's Burger Shack in MidTown and Nichols Hills

Best Beer Selection
1. McNellie's Public House in MidTown
2. TapWerks Ale House & Cafe in Bricktown

Best Joke About a Local Restaurant
1. Pearl's "Graveside" (the new N. Classen location)
2. Laredo's construction woes, also on N. Classen

Best Dance Club
1. Skkybar in Bricktown
2. Rok Bar in Bricktown

Worst Local Restaurant
1. Charleston's..located everywhere
2. n/a

Best Local Clothing Company
1. Mr. Ooley's in Penn Square
2. Lucca Fashion Boutique in Penn Square and in Edmond

Best Local Retail Treasure
1. Full Circle Bookstore at 50 Penn Place
2. Sage Gourmet Market in Deep Deuce

Best Place to Shop
1. Penn Square in N. OKC
2. Campus Corner, Norman

Most Missed OKC-grown Corporation
1. Kerr-McGee
2. Harold's

Best Local University
1. University of Oklahoma
2. n/a

Best Local Hotspot
1. Bricktown (obviously)
2. N. Western Avenue

Most Surprising Local Hotspot (in a good way)
1. MidTown
2. Downtown Norman

Most Underachieving Local Hotspot
1. Uptown (NW 23rd Street)
2. Capitol Hill

Best Live Music Club
1. The UCO Jazz Lab in Edmond
2. The Conservatory on N. Western

Best New Urban Development
1. The Centennial on the Canal in Bricktown
2. The Legacy at Arts Central in the Arts District

Best Historic Renovation Project
1. The Skirvin Hilton in Downtown
2. Plaza Court Bldg in MidTown

Best Downtown Developer
1. Grant Humphreys
2. Greg Banta

Best Development About to Break Ground
1. Devon Tower in Downtown
2. The Waterfront on the Oklahoma River

Best Prime Sites for Development
1. The "Brewer Family" location entering Bricktown on Sheridan
2. Vacant city block across Walker from the Stage Center

Best MAPS 3 Idea
1. Downtown streetcar
2. Convention center

Best Public Project
1. Ford Center Renovations
2. Boathouse Row

Best Downtown Attraction
1. OKC National Memorial
2. Bricktown Ballpark

Most Stylish Suburban Development
1. Spring Creek Village in Edmond
2. Brookhaven Village in Norman

Best Metro Blog
1. Doug Dawgz Blog, by Doug Loudenback
2. OKC Central, by Steve Lackmeyer

Best International Hall of Fame You Didn't Know OKC Had
1. International Gymnastics Hall of Fame in Downtown
2. International Photography Hall of Fame at the OmniPlex

Best Local Museum
1. Oklahoma City Museum of Art in Downtown
2. Fred Jones Museum of Art in Norman

Best Local Politician
1. Tom Coburn
2. Jim Roth

Best Local Eccentric Billionaire
1. Ray Ackerman
2. Aubrey McClendon

Best 'Best of OKC'
1. Oklahoma Gazette
2. Daily Oklahoman

Most Attractive Person in OKC
1. Nadia Comaneci
2. Nick Roberts, naturally

For a better "Best of OKC" directory, check out the Gazette. All of these were decided by me, so no doubt people might disagree. I also didn't bother with places I don't go to, like wine bars, or Mexican restaurants, or Chinese restaurants, etc. Although I did cover best watering hole (for beer on top) and Japanese restaurants..which is kinda close. I also, obviously, covered a lot of downtown topics not covered by anyone else; just my own spin on the "Best of OKC" thing everyone is getting in on. Anyway, keep it classy, OKC.

Top 40 largest cities in 1900

This here trivia game is pretty cool, and it's easy to play. Just click Ready and enter in the names of cities. You have 6 minutes to guess as many of the Top 40 largest cities in 1900. It's a really cool interactive way to learn our nation's urban history.

I got 35. If anyone beats me, I'd like to hear about it!

"Staycation" Pt. 1..the Southside Sears

With the economy tanking (supposedly), I heard a rumor from a distant cousin that many of us are opting for a summer "staycation." A "staycation" is doing something cool and staying home, as opposed to doing the classy thing and spending money to travel somewhere else to do something cool. The really cool thing is that a "staycation" can include things that you didn't even realize qualified as a "staycation." For instance.. a vacation would be going to visit this really cool rocky sea shore in the picture..BUT a "staycation" is even cooler; instead of spending thousands of dollars to travel and all that, you can just look at this picture with computer icons on it and close your eyes and pretend to be there! Now isn't that way cooler?

Another example: I went to the Warren Theatre off I-35 in Moore to see Star Trek for the 14th time (hey, I hadn't seen it yet in Oklahoma!) and much to my regurgitation, since I'd been gone they added this cheesy "Voice of the Theatre" character who says corny things and reminds you that the economy has tanked before telling you you're on a really cool "staycation." According to the "staycationers," you can have way more fun staying home as opposed to snorkeling in Bora Bora.

So I realize, a "staycation" really can include practically anything, especially something mundane like going to your neighborhod cinema. So I had an idea to do a series of incredibly super fricken awesome "staycations." To pull this off, I actually went on these aforementioned "staycations." The first one I went on was a trip to the land of SW 44th and Western.. the Southside Sears!!


First of all, I would just like to mention what a magical experience coming to this Sears in particular has been. What else could you call the forces that have kept this Sears in business for 50 years? It will never close its doors, no matter what. In fact, the only thing more depressing than the parking lot of this Sears is probably Crossroads Mall, another wonderful Southside landmark. I counted 12 cars in the parking lot when I came..7 of which were dark green 1994 Buick Regals with bumper stickers about their grandchildren.

I decided I needed an excuse to be in there. I would pretend to be looking for their Ralph Lauren section, since I was wearing a Ralph Lauren shirt that day (they didn't have any Ralph Lauren, but the guy told me they had something called "American Living" that was "just like" Ralph Lauren..right, cuz anyone can make polo shirts and stuff to golf in). I walked in the front door and saw that they had a greeter, who probably drove one of those dark green Buick Regals. Turns out grandpa was a light sleeper, because he was woken up by the sliding door. I said to him, "Not much of a crowd you guys have got here!" Grandpa replied, "What did you expect when you're late! Our normal business hours should be 5 am to 9 am! Humbug!" I had officially been greeted to the Southside Sears.

I walked around a little, trying to find a section that was targeted toward the 20-25 year old age group. I found it, but I realized it wasn't really targeted toward my age group..but more targeted towards elderly grandparents buying something for my age group. I found a few racks of argyle pattern shirts, Wrangler jeans, tube socks, and snowflake pattern sweaters (in the summer). It dawned on me that I was probably standing in the very spot that all of the awful Christmas presents my grandparents always got me were purchased. It was a very special feeling.

I thought of my grandparents, and suddenly realized my dad was also getting to be that age. As a retired police sgt from the Lawton Police Force (probably the only police dept in the state that actually has crime), he definitely looks his age, plus twenty years. I decided it might be funny to get him a pair of tube socks from the Southside Sears. After picking a pair that was a weird bright-dark shade of green (so that it would match none of his shoes or pants), I went to the checkout station..where I waited for 5 minutes for an elderly woman to come ring me up. She told me I was buying a lovely pair of tube socks, and that I reminded her of her grandson. His name is Jacob..and he goes to Oklahoma Baptist University. She offered me a piece of hard candy. Believe it or not, Werther's Original is some prrrrretty good caramel.

So now we've experienced something magical, met someone interesting, learned something about family history, and tasted some delicious local cuisine of this land called Southside Sears. What more could you want in a "staycation" I thought, as I walked out to my rebelliously cool yellow SUV and drove off before I could feel any weirder.

120 degrees and 400% humidity

Well it's pretty much a shock to my system to be back in Oklahoma, especially during the summer, especially after recovering from Calgary's brutal winter. God is probably looking down on me laughing his ass off right now. I envy whoever is from Calgary that goes to school at OU (they're probably not studying architecture) because they get to spend the winter in Norman, and the summer in Calgary. That's a good balance. This however, is a balance..but a really, really bad one.

Now that I am 100% back in town and all set up, hopefully it will be a lot easier for me to update this blog, be more active both in kind and online when it comes to OKC's urban transformation, and all of that good stuff..before I go back for my 4th year of arch school. In the past, whenever I wasn't on the U of C campus I had to use my pda phone to stay connected to the Internet and blogs..but now it won't feel like I'm writing the World's Longest Text Message each time I comment on a blog, write a blog entry, etc. I already feel liberated from my mouse-sized qwerty keypad!

There are so many issues to tackle. There are so many improvements to take stock of and celebrate. And there is so much planning and striving that remains to be done that no time can be wasted.

I don't really know what to tag this blog entry under, so I'll give it a tag I have no idea about..anecdotal whimsy. It makes perfect sense..I have no idea what anecdotal whimsy is, and I have no idea what to tag this entry..so it's a match made in Heaven.

WTF is anecdotal whimsy?

As I was putting the finishing touches on this blog and making the announcement to have folks check it out, one thing had me perplexed--WTF is anecdotal whimsy?

Of course I know very well what anecdotal whimsy is. It just sounds so out there..kind of like one of those things that you wish you could immediately take back after you already said it on a first date or something. It almost sounds like something some granola head NYU environmental law student would blog about on his laptop in a first-ran Greenwich Village coffee shop. I'm not like that. First of all, I am writing away from Calgary's Bankview district, and not NYC's Greenwich Village, thank-you-very-much. Second of all, I'm no granola head, again thank-you-very-much! In fact that's what this blog is supposed to be about. It's supposed to be connecting the love for all things urban to average joe thought. Sort of a BRIDGE between the urban elitists that ma and pa (actually ma and pa are pretty well-off, but just bear with me) blame for all of America's problems, and the average John Q folks back home in OKC.

The right-wing politics aspect of this blog seem obvious: to share my right-wing outlook on World politics, which right now, is the American presidential election, thanks to Mr. Obama. The urban advocacy aspect of this blog should also seem obvious: to talk about the cool urban stuff I encounter in my life, whether it be back home in Oklahoma, or up in Canada! The anecdotal whimsy aspect is less obvious perhaps. What I meant by that was just, random, off-the-cuff stories that sum up anything extraordinary that happens to me in my life.

So far nothing extraordinary has happened to me in my life, so thankfully, no anecdotal whimsy, whatever that is.

And I would really like to thank everyone that has perused my blog on its first day open, and feel free to let me know what you think, suggest anything to be covered, or let me know how you feel about what all I'm covering, etc. The point of this blog IS to have readers, and I do want to have readers! Hopefully this blog will leave the kind of impression that other blogs that have come before it have left in terms of advocating the urban for OKC and other cities out there.

Obviously OKC is a very special place to me, and I'd rather not be away from it at this point in my life, but I promise I will come back home better positioned to leave the kind of impressions that I would want to on my adopted hometown. Whether I settle down in OKC, or Galveston where I was born, remains up in the air, but the only thing certain at this point is that I am hardly finished with OKC. I want this blog to have the same kind of impact that Doug Dawg, Steve's OKC Central, and other blogs have had, in informing readers about the life of urban OKC, and perhaps Tulsa, too! And I will be making comparisons to beautiful Calgary whenever possible, just for the purpose of expanding you guys' horizons.

Thanks guys!